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Thoughts of a Thoughtless Mind
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Summer's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Sunday, March 1st, 2009
10:34 pm
So Stupid!
So i went out with people tonight to get pie...Had a good time and everything...come home...break down crying *sigh*

This is so stupid! I cry because they had all gone to this thing and dinner and it sounded like they had such a fun time...and I just caught the tail end of it...

I'm so stupid for being sad about this crap...







So dumb...
Wednesday, February 11th, 2009
12:34 am
Hmmm
Facebook seems to have crashed on me...

Hi Harlan!
Friday, December 19th, 2008
1:30 am
Just writing...
The sun had set itself into its bed many hours ago with vast stretching purple and gold, but she still sat looking at where it had been as if its light still hung in the air. She could have looked at the moon now...If there was a moon on this night. No moon, Instead there was just a vast array of stars over her head. A nearly black blanket filled with faces. Taurus held itself high in the night sky...nearly the center of the stars' worlds at this time, so deep in December. She hadn't realized it, but at some point her back touched the cold, damp grass which was now beneath her. The water soaked through her clothes laced it’s cool kiss on her skin. When did she lie down? She couldn't remember. All she knew was that Taurus and Orion were looking down on her now. Aries was somewhere in the sky near by she knew, but she could never find it. Aries always eluded her.

He was an Aries. Fire...strength. Oh, he had a temper and always wanted to be the leader of everything. He wasn’t tall. He wasn’t noble. He wasn’t handsome or wise, but foolish and selfish. He wasn't like a Leo, not at all. His desire for leadership came from the core of his pride...Not a natural or even kind leadership...A forced one. He could be so arrogant! It was infuriating and beautiful in so many different and frustraiting ways. It didn't matter, though, because he had faded into the past along with ever passing sun and moon that had graced the sky all this time. Months had passed. Maybe even years had passed. It all blurred to the point where she couldn't tell anymore… but … She would think back... on his eyes. They stayed. They remained.

Her eyes eventually fell from the stars as she noticed a light creeping up, over the distant hills behind her. Had she been lying there all night? It only seemed like moments. It was a cold night. Perhaps it would have been better if she had been inside by a fire...by candles. Fire had the same entrancing glow of the stars, but without the cold lips of the air and grass. It would have been warmer.

Taurus isn't very interesting anyways.

With a sigh the young lady forced herself to her feet and it was only then that she realized just how tired she was. She had done this same thing the night before which brought her to 54 hours of being awake. Staying awake for so long was never good for a person's body let alone their heart. The heart and mind need sleep. They say dreams are when you really get to work through your issues of the day. That’s what she had read a long while ago anyways. She kept her mind from working through them. Maybe that was her intent, to not work through this. Not even she could answer that. Only the silent night sky could answer that.

Soon her eyes drifted back to the lights above her, now painted in a gentle purple with the coming dawn… Dawn … Jupiter was moving farther and farther from Venus. The time of a good new beginning was running out. She knew that … At her very core.

Current Mood: accomplished
Thursday, July 31st, 2008
2:30 am
I Just Want To Say Before Bed
Today the unexpected happened...

It's a good day and I look forward to waking up. I look forward to moving and starting a new life. I look forward to what comes in the future.

Today the unexpected happened... and my heart feels good.

Current Mood: peaceful
Wednesday, July 30th, 2008
3:16 pm
INTERNET IS NOT REALITY!
I am tired of how this world is starting to think. So many people think that internet relationships are real. The thing is, very few people in the world are the same on the internet as they are in real life. You can spend years getting to know someone online, but then when you meet in real life it will be completely different! It think it is SO stupid to choose an internet relationship over a REAL one. I swore long ago never to get into one and I stick by that!

The internet has ruined more relationships then it has brought GOOD ones about. A person gets married to someone they claim to love then goes and lives a different life online and thinks that is okay??? That's how it is in this world now. People living fake lives and getting away with it. I'm sick of that kind of disrespect!

I believe that if you love someone then you think about them in everything you do. If you love someone there is no "it's okay so long as they don't find out." There is none of that NO MATTER WHAT if you love someone. If you love someone you live as if they are beside you at all times and you don't do anything that you know will hurt them wether you think they would find out or not. THAT IS LOVE...THAT IS COMMITMENT...

I've come to the point where I will settle for no less then that. I might be waiting all my life, but I refuse to love that way and not be loved that way in return. I will not settle for someone who will not hold me in the same regard. I refuse! I will not settle for someone who says they love someone yet still think and act as a single person. I refuse!

Current Mood: angry
Tuesday, July 29th, 2008
5:59 pm
How Things Go
So I had been seeing someone this summer. It ended very badly...and my birthday weekend no less. I am losing hope that there is anyone out there who loves like I do...and will love ME like that. I put to much of myself into my relationships...and I do it too soon. So when they end it breaks me all over again. It makes me not able to trust in a relationship...

I'm tired of things. I think more it has to do with the fact that I hate having nothing to do and no one around. I hate sitting at home doing nothing. Being with someone gives me something to do because I can go hang out with them. I am a very boring person who doesn't come up with things to do on my own. Yet I always want to be doing things. I want to be social and DO things. I want to hang out with friends...I want to work on a show...I want to be active around me. Sitting at home doing nothing just doesn't work for me. I need work...I need a social life.

Current Mood: cynical
Friday, May 23rd, 2008
2:59 am
WOOOOOO! GOOD NEWS!
Okay! I have some super good news that I just got today, but first I am going to do a short con report!

SO, this last weekend was my first ever furry convention in which I was a dealer! I must say, minus some emo stuffs, it was the best thing ever! I did so many badges I was working all day long!

I really have to give a HUGE thanks to the most wonderful person ever, xxbalaaxx! She was really there for me when I needed an ear and I do hope I was there for her as well! Thank you Balaa for being so great this last weekend. I owe you many many hugs!

I also must thank bagheera for letting me and Artlan stay with him and Balaa at his place the days on either end of the con! Thank you for being so hospitable and for all the good foods!

I ALSO need to give a very big thanks to artlan for being my ride there and being oh so great the whole con. You were probably one of the most popular people there! WOO! You were just awesome and everyone appreciated your wonderful help and even more your willingness to help! *hugs you* Hope you feel better in the morning by the way hon.

Overall, the con was really good for me, made some much needed money and met some really great people...and bit the head off of a really huge gummie bear...It was truly EPIC! People have been complaining about the lights in the dealer's den, but I did fine with them. I think that is because my room is really dark so I'm used to that kind of lighting.

It was wonderful being able to get some homework done with darknatasha and vantid in our room...and a few other guests aswell ^__^

I really must say I was one one hell of a side of the dealer's den. I mean...right in a row you had Dark Natasha, Vantid, Thornwolf, Me, Bagheera, Balaa, and Ferality! Loved it! I felt all special and warm inside...lol *is a dork*

ANYWAYS!!!

Onto the good news!

It seems I have been given a full ride to SJSU to get my BA!

WOOOOOOOOOO!

I am SO happy!

~Em~
Sunday, April 13th, 2008
1:32 pm
Well...
Just to inform people.

My grandpa passed away a few hours ago. So if you try to contact me or anything and I seem unresponsive it is probably because I either don't feel like talking or am busy running around doing things for people.

Summer
Thursday, March 13th, 2008
11:39 pm
Quotes
So...I felt like posting some movie quotes that I like. This mainly came about because I watched American Beauty for the second time in my life today and there is this one moment that is just so lovely...so...it goes first:

"It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in." ~American Beauty~

"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday." ~American Beauty~

"Bowen: I no longer try to change the world, dragon, I just try to get by in it.
Draco: Ah well, it's better than death, I suppose.
Bowen: Why? I would think you would welcome death. All of your friends gone, hunted wherever you go...
Draco: Do you delight in reminding me? Yes knight, I do long for death, but... fear it.
Bowen: Why? Aside from your misery, what's to lose?
Draco: My soul." ~Dragonheart~

"Galadriel: I know what it is you saw, for it is also in my mind.
[telepathically]
Galadriel: It is what will come to pass, If you should fail. The Fellowship is breaking, it has already begun. He will try to take the Ring, you know of whom I speak. One by one, it will destroy them.
Frodo: [telepathically] If you ask it of me, I will give you the One Ring.
Galadriel: You offer it to me freely? I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this.
[starts to grow dark]
Galadriel: In the place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Morn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love me and despair!
[she stops]
Galadriel: I have passed the test. I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel.
Frodo: I cannot do this alone.
Galadriel: You are a Ring-bearer, Frodo. To bear a Ring of Power is to be alone.
[pulls out her hand]
Galadriel: This is Nenya, the Ring of Adament. And I am it's keeper. This task was appointed to you, and if you do not find a way, no one will.
Frodo: I know what I must do, it's just that... I'm afraid to do it.
Galadriel: Even the smallest person can change the course of the future." ~Lord of the Rings: FotR~

(I just love this scene...even in the musical...yes that's right! Lord of the Rings the MUSICAL <.<)

"Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for." ~Lord of the Rings: TTT~

(This quote I hold very dear)

"Sam: Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It'll be spring soon. And the orchards will be in blossom. And the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And they'll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields... and eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries?
Frodo: No, Sam. I can't recall the taste of food... nor the sound of water... nor the touch of grass. I'm... naked in the dark, with nothing, no veil... between me... and the wheel of fire! I can see him... with my waking eyes!
Sam: Then let us be rid of it... once and for all! Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can't carry it for you... but I can carry you!" ~Lord of the Rings: RotK~

(That seen always gets me all teary eyed)


More to come later...
Thursday, December 13th, 2007
3:01 am
A Conclusion
I think I have reached a conclusion about the sound thing that I am happy with.

If a person does not have working eardrums does that mean all things able to be heard do not then exist or would it mean the deaf mans ability to hear does not exist? If a person does not have working eyes does that mean all things able to be seen do not exist or does it mean his ability to see does not exist? If a blind and deaf man is in a place where everything is capable of being seen and heard yet the man is blind and deaf does that then mean that his surroundings do not then exist or does it mean that the act of hearing and the act of seeing is not known to him? Because this mans natural perception of hearing and seeing are not existent to himself does this then mean that sound and images around him do not exist? The sites and sounds are always there and are capable of being seen and heard... it's the ability to perceive them that does not then exist.

Basically being ignorant to something does not mean that something does not exist, it means that you do not have knowledge of something in existence. When you are given knowledge of something you are not bringing it into existence, you are making known to self something that already existed.

To put it plainly, ignorance cannot blink something out of existence.

If I am locked in a dark closet my entire life never knowing anyone else and no one ever knowing me then my knowledge of anyone else is non-existent just as their knowledge of me is non-existent. Everyone who exists still exists I am just ignorant to the fact that they exist just as they are ignorant to the fact that I exist.

Perception does not bring things into existence it serves as a witness to things that already exist.
1:36 am
Sounds
I'm not sure what brought this on, but I got to thinking about the nature of sound today. How exactly does one define sound? Is sound only sound when it is processed in the brain as sound or is sound the waves in and of themselves? I believe that sound is the waves produced because I believe there is always SOMETHING that will pick them up. This, of course, leads to that age old question "If a tree falls in the woods with nobody around does it make a sound?"

My answer to this was always "Yes" because there is ALWAYS going to be something around to hear it...animal, bug, or otherwise. So it would be heard by SOMETHING no matter what. This is extremely true. Lets say, however, that there is absolutely nothing anywhere around...The tree is in some huge bubble unto itself. Does it then make sound? The answer there would be...What? It makes the potential of sound...but does it make actual sound? I believe it does because it still makes the wave and just because I can't hear a wave doesn't mean it's not a sound. This brings up the question of "Well, can plants hear?" Some say they can...some say that's stupid, but that's a side note.

The question that that really brought up for me though is...What about frequencies that we as humans can't hear? If we can't hear it...Is it still a sound? I would say yes because something else CAN hear it. It was processed in SOME creature's mind as a sound. So then is it a sound? Or would you say it is a sound only to those who can hear it? AND if sound is only sound to those who can hear it then are the sounds being made across town right now not really sounds to me? No, they are sound to me because someone somewhere is hearing those waves.

I really came to no real conclusion other then "A tree falling down with absolutely nothing around it at all to hear it simply isn't ever going to happen ever on the face of this earth...So the question is pointless...because it is an impossibility."

So, it makes sound you delusional fools because there WILL ALWAYS be something around to hear it on some level or another...Especially in a forest!

I believe that.

Yeah, not really informative or anything...but meh.

Here's a question for you though using that same impossible "if", "If a tree fall in some place with no living organism in it at all in any way shape or form, but is recorded and later played to a living organism then did that tree make a sound?"

Think that one over!
12:42 am
Stolen from Baggie

Your Score: The Cat


You scored 60% domestic, 42% gregarious, 35% trickster, and 52% intellect!




Domestic, Solitary, Serious, Intelectual: you are the Cat!

Cat represents a balance of strength in both physical and spiritual, psychic and sensual powers, merging these two worlds into one. Curious, intelligent, and physically adept, cat people tend to live in a world all their own.


This test categorized you based on four different axes of personality, which were then associated with a different animal. The four axes, as well as all possible results are explained below.



Wild/Domestic: This first axis categorizes you based on how much you are drawn to the outdoors, versus how much you are drawn to civilized situations. Domesticity has many shapes and forms, and varies from the joy of dolphins leaping next to a ship to the steadfast loyalty of a family dog.



Gregarious/Solitary: This axis measures how solitary you are. If you scored high, it means that you enjoy the company of other people, while a low score indicates that you prefer a more solitary lifestyle.



Trickster/Serious: This axis measures how well you line up with conventional trickster archetypes. People who fall into this archetype have a sense of humor and an excitable, highly chaotic streak. Scoring low doesn't mean that you don't have a sense of humor; it just means that you probably don't think dynamite is very funny.



Intellectual/Emotional: This last axis determines whether you are more emotional -- acting based on feelings and instinct, or rational and intelectual -- acting more on thought than on your gut feelings.



WildGregariousTricksterIntellectualThe Hyena
WildGregariousTricksterEmotionalThe Otter
WildGregariousSeriousIntellectualThe Antelope
WildGregariousSeriousEmotionalThe Wolf
WildSolitaryTricksterIntellectualThe Weasel
WildSolitaryTricksterEmotionalThe Coyote
WildSolitarySeriousIntellectualThe Raven
WildSolitarySeriousEmotionalThe Frog
DomesticGregariousTricksterIntellectualThe Fox
DomesticGregariousTricksterEmotionalThe Dolphin
DomesticGregariousSeriousIntellectualThe Horse
DomesticGregariousSeriousEmotionalThe Dog
DomesticSolitaryTricksterIntellectualThe Rat
DomesticSolitaryTricksterEmotionalThe Ferret
DomesticSolitarySeriousIntellectualThe Cat
DomesticSolitarySeriousEmotionalThe Squirrel




Link: The Animal Archetype Test written by crumpetsfortea on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test



Okay......I am so not surprised XD
Saturday, November 17th, 2007
8:04 pm
Beowulf
Okay, so Artlan and I saw Beowulf yesterday in 3D. I figured I'd write here what I thought of the movie just because I am trying to waste time. WOO!

The graphics were great. I loved how everything looked...was well done, though the fight scenes tended to get a little too jumpy and you sometimes couldn't tell quite what was going on. As for the characters...The majority of the people seemed...flat. Beowulf himself for most of the movie came across as a egotistical playboy...He grows up near the end and such, but I can't say I really ended up caring for Beowulf in this...because everything was due to his own idiocy and hunger for power.

The main thing about the characters is that they really didn't spend much time at all developing them beyond face value. Beowulf grew a little and his wife changed a bit...but neither of them by much. So I really didn't feel much sympathy for anyone in the movie which means I really didn't care what happened to any of them. The only one I kinda cared about was the wife. The main reason for the lack of development I think was that it was clearly a fan service movie. I could tell it would be from the very start. It stopped being a fan service movie towards the end, but the chance for more character development was lost by then.

As I said though, the graphics were outstanding and the creatures were wonderfully made! Angelina Jolie's character was very interesting looking and the dragon was extremely cool looking!

I'd say over all that this would be an okay movie to see in theatres for the sake of seeing the graphics. See it in 3D if you can. Makes things a bit better in my opinion.
Thursday, November 15th, 2007
3:35 am
The soundtrack of my life! This was FAR too fun!
WHAT'S YOUR SOUNDTRACK?
Body: IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool!


Opening Credits:
The Sky and The Dawn and The Sun - Celtic Woman
(I LOVE that as my opening song! That rocks! Look up the lyrics and you'll see why I love it as my opening song...it's quite exalting! XD)

First Day At School:
Mary Did You Know - Gaither Vocal Band
(LOL...Not sure how it is relevant to the situation...but HEY...it's GRAND and way pretty...so I guess it's a momentous event!)

Falling In Love:
Carrickfergus - Celtic Woman
(It's a very lovely sweet song...but...sad...it's about a old lady dying O.O)

Fight Song:
Colors - Crossfade
(WOW...that is PERFECT! If you haven't heard it go listen and you'll understand! 8D)

Breaking Up:
Lux Aurumque - Eric Whitacre
(Well, now that's an odd one. It is a really great song though...just read the lyrics and you'll see how odd a choice that is XD)

LUX AURUMQUE (LIGHT AND GOLD)

Lux callida gravisque (Light, warm and heavy)
Pura velut aurum (Pure as gold)
et canunt angeli (and the angels sing)
molliter modo natum (to the newborn babe)

Prom:
Oh, Holy Night - David Phelps
(That's just funny XD)

Life:
Don't Do Sadness/Blue Wind - Spring Awakening Soundtrack
(I think that accuretly portrays my up and down moods *nods*)

Mental Breakdown:
Let The Bodies Hit The Floor - Drowning Pool
(WOW...I don't think I even need to say how perfect THAT is!)

Driving:
Defying Gravity - Wicked Soundtrack
(XD hahahahahahahahahaha I think that's fitting! teeheehee!)

Flashback:
This Thing Called Love - Queen
(Must be an extremely happy flashback. lol)

Getting Back Together:
Apologize - One Republic (NOT Timbaland because all Timbaland does is stupid "eh eh eh" in the background)
(Well, I am surprised how good this soundtrack is turnning out XD)

Wedding:
Caro Nome - Leontyne Price
(AND I'll be the one singing it instead of her *nods*)

Birth of Child:
Terra's Theme - Final Fantasy VI Soundtrack
(I don't plan on having a child so this would be omitted. However, if I were to have a kid this is what would be going through my head once I am all drugged up)

Final Battle:
Lothlorien - Lord of the Rings the Musical Soundtrack
(Um...yeah...No idea why that would be playing. It would be a very intense and slow battle and magical...lots of magic! ^__^)

Death Scene:
The theme to Pan's Labirynth
(WOO! It'll rip people's hearts right out of their chest! YES!)

Funeral Song:
No Good Deed - Wicked Soundtrack
(HAHAHAHAHA...That's sad T_T)

Rememberance Song:
Mercy - One Republic
(That is...interesting...but I LOVE this song! So that works for me!)

End Credits:
Prisoner - Adam Crossley
(Oh man...Those will be depressing credits *evil smile* just how I like it!)

Current Mood: amused
Tuesday, November 6th, 2007
10:07 pm
This is Acurate Strange Enough
Your Political Profile:

Overall: 40% Conservative, 60% Liberal

Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal


Yeah, I'm a big jumble of view points XD

I'm certainly NOT a republican...I've known that for a while though ^__^
Monday, November 5th, 2007
1:46 pm
Golden Compass
Okay, people have been sending out emails saying "DON'T SEE IT!!! IT'S EEEEVIIIIIL!!! They are trying to corrupt your innocent children! Watch out!!!"

Well, to any of you who have received one of those emails and are not sure if you are up for seeing the movie or anything now. Read this...It's my point of view on these books and the coming movie! (a different Christian point of view)

----

Most of the anti-religion parts of these book would go right over a child's head. The first book is really good as is the second. Yes, the third one goes a little too much into his opinion and it leaves the plot kinda lacking...But as I said, most of the anti-religion parts would go way over a kid's head.

Something that I think is a very important point is that the "God" they kill in the story bears more resemblence to what I would call Satan. He’s a being who named himself God, lied about his power and deeds, and sought to control the whole universe through force and coercion, more like the wizard of Oz then the actual God. So if you think them killing THAT "God" is them killing anything like what I believe is the real God then you are quite wrong!

Although Pullman has received a lot of scrutiny, many Christians have come to Pullman’s defense arguing that the book is negative toward the constraints and dangers of dogmatism and the use of religion to oppress, not on Christianity itself. It's against religious extremism and oppression THAT is what they destroy in the end not the true God.

I also don't think it is a bad thing for people to read such books to challenge their faith or to use it to springboard a discussion about it with their children. Because to shelter one's children is to ill prepare them for the world, whereas talking to your children and answering any questions that are brought up is to arm them with a stronger faith and solid answers that they couldn't get otherwise.

Also, these books tend to have a lot of things in them that would be considered gnostic (gnostic not A-gnostic) ideas. Each person has a spirit. It has angels...It has demons. So even though the author has stated that he is very anti-religion his books include a lot of religious symbols. Yes, the author is not a good guy be Christian belief, but I honestly don't think the goal he has in mind is anything even close to being in his grasp.

Besides, all this hype is just going to make MORE people go see this movie...and is going to make MORE young adults want to read the books. So it's better to see and read it WITH them and then discuss it with them then to try and keep it from them. Simple as that. Their plan to kill this movie is going to backfire in their faces and I'm perfectly fine with that! I hate extremists...They give everyone a bad name!
Sunday, November 4th, 2007
1:57 pm
I have past issues I really need to work through. Mainly because they bring me down in the present. I'll be frank with all of you about this. I don't tend to talk about it because I feel it is a very petty and pathetic side of me...but...I will talk about it here. A lot of the time I feel left out in life. People seem to think I am social, but in all honesty I am not. Not because I am not an extroverted person, but because I am, but that that outgoing character is not fed...

I'm not sure that makes sense. I am outgoing...I am social, but people don't tend to want to be social back or are just limited-ly so. I know full well it may just be my own twisted view of what people think of me and such...but I feel like an "undesirable" if you will. I constantly feel unwelcome. I know that this is probably not true and that I feel this way simply because they are shadows of my past haunting me...but I can't seem to shake it.

So I come off as very curious...perhaps even nosy because I ask a bunch of questions about what is going on. I, perhaps, do that as a hint that I would be up for being involved or helping. Most don't get this hint or get it full well and just don't view it as desirable...Thus the "Undesirable" feeling I get. I've had this talk with several people recently because it has been bothering me more now then it has in the past. I'm not sure why. I think it might be because the people that used to be around the department were not the "clique" type and just pretty much involved everyone in everything and now it is packed FULL of little cliques. Like high school all over again.

Another thing that has bothered me is that a lot of people consider me to be a ditz and not very serious. Well, anyone who knows me at least half way well knows that that is not true of me at all. A lot of people who actually KNOW me know I am actually overly serious a lot of the time. Yet people assume that because I am a bigger personality and go around singing all over the place not caring what people think I am a ditz. I have ditsy moments...It's true, I am very forgetful, but when it comes to matters of people's emotional problems and insecurities I am very serious and am honestly just serious in general. I had never even thought, until recently, that people view me in this way. It is insulting to know that people look at me like I am a non-serious ditz. Anyone who talks to me one on one knows how I truly am and knows that seeing me as such is simply not true.

The thing is most people just don't take the time...They just assume that what they think of someone is the truth and don't bother to really find out for themselves *shrugs*

Current Mood: aggravated
Friday, October 26th, 2007
11:07 pm
So...Sweeney
Todd that is...

I am really looking forward to this film because it is one of my favorite musicals and I actually like a lot of the casting.

But I simply must ask...

Does anyone else totally LOVE the idea of Alan Rickman singing "Mea Culpa" or am I just sick and twisted?

I mean...It'll be Alan Rickman...no shirt...whiping himself XD

Yeah, I'm just a sick freak XDDDD
Tuesday, October 16th, 2007
12:30 pm
ART THEFT (LETS TAKE HER ASS DOWN)
Taken from Bagheera's journal

"...unless you do it for hundreds of times and actually sale them as your originals. >_>

Rip-off: http://www.yessy.com/art/digital_art/childrens_art/?view=538209
Original: http://balaa.deviantart.com/art/The-Clover-Patch-24116649

The person's gallery doesn't contain a single original image. She even has her own half-decent website with... a gallery-full of Photoshop-filtered photographs she claims to be "paintings".

Lord help me, I am dying from laughter. >_>"

And here's more you can yell at her for!

Rip-off:
http://www.yessy.com/mybs600/gallery.html?i=31122
Original:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/568538/

And this is a painting of discworld!
http://www.yessy.com/mybs600/gallery.html?i=20195

Lets take this woman DOWN!

I mean, I am fine with people doing photo manipulations and such, but they need to give credit where credit is due and they most CERTAINLY should not then go and sell it!
Sunday, September 2nd, 2007
4:26 pm
!!!!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I love that one!!! That is the best...will leave it at that XD
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